Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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