i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
