the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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