dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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