im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is Oprah even human
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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