And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
