There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
