i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
