How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize