so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
