That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
