yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
