but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
