Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
