I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
