I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
