East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
