i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
