I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So squirting runs in the family.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
