no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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