just survived the first fart of the relationship.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
