Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
