I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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