Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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