i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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