My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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