I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
