Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How external is "for external use only"?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
