We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
