if i died would you start the facebook group?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
