My first STD was from a foam party
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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