Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
