This girl is more easily done than said...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
