For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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