what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
