I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
