anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize