apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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