I wanna passion pit in your ass
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
