so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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