I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
