I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
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T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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