everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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