theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
