Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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