Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
