I bet he comes in French.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
