mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
