Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
