We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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