I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
