We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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