We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize