I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
