Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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