Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
