Why are handjobs necessary in class?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Terrible idea I love it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
