i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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