did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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